If you want to subscribe to LOL Sober, hit the purple button below. I’m mostly publishing free pieces right now, but paid subscribers do have access to monthly premium pieces—such as THIS comedy special about my 10 favorite addiction/sobriety jokes!
I recently read a Fox Sports profile of Maxx Crosby, who is a great young NFL player for the Las Vegas Raiders. He got sober a few years ago, and it’s a cool story. Here is a link to it.
I am fascinated by the concept of being rich and famous and young while trying to get sober, because I just don’t know if I could have done that—and Crosby is doing it in Las Vegas, of all places!
I got sober because I was spiritually bankrupt, but actual bankruptcy played a part, too. I was about $100,000 in debt and that number was getting about $500 bigger every day.
If I had had fame and millions of dollars to play with, I might have needed more time to hit rock bottom. And I also think if I had been rich, I might have gone to one of those fancy beach rehabs were you can ride horses and frolic on the beach and decide when to come or go. Frolicking would not have been good for me, though. I needed a rehab that made me feel like I never wanted to go back to rehab.
In that profile of Maxx Crosby, I was especially interested in a section about him when he was in college at Eastern Michigan. Eastern Michigan isn’t exactly a powerhouse college program, so Crosby was a big-time big man on campus there. The story says people started to say, “Hey, we think Maxx might have a problem.”
And more often than not, other people would act surprised and say, “But he’s playing great!” And it was kind of true: He was playing great!
But that’s one of the biggest misconceptions that I have seen in recovery. I know a lot of very successful, very smart, very ambitious, very high-achieving people who have terrible addiction issues! I would include myself in there for one or two of those categories. When I went to rehab, I had a great job at a big, successful company. I had two beautiful, healthy kids. I had a house and a strong, longterm relationship with my wife. I hadn’t been arrested. I had zero DUIs. I had no drunken car accidents. I hadn’t actually had to file for bankruptcy. I hadn’t been fired from my job. I hadn’t even had an official overdose.
For quite a few people in my life, they might have thought, “Rehab… really? You seem like you’re doing okay.” I wasn’t! I needed rehab, even if my life looked pretty damn good on paper. I think that’s part of the reason that I didn’t seek help sooner. I had bought into the idea that drunks and drug addicts all go to prison for the fifth time and then go to rehab.
The truth is, some alcoholics and addicts go to prison for the fifth time and then go to rehab. Others become CEOs or university presidents or college football All-Americans and then hit rock bottom. For me, I was definitely struggling in every aspect of my life, but you might not have known it.
But I knew it. I knew I felt broken every single day and had no idea how to live life with drugs and alcohol… and no idea how to live life without drugs and alcohol, either.
So I really appreciated that part of the story. I enjoy reading those stories because they’re great comeback stories and I always get something out of them. And I bet lots of other people do, too.
This newsletter is a place of joy and laughter about the deadly serious business of sobriety. So, as I will often do, let me close with a joke:
An AA member was trying to get ketchup to come out of the jar. During her struggle, the phone rang. She asked her four-year-old daughter to answer it.
"It's the minister, Mommy," the child called to her mother. Then she added, "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's busy hitting the bottle."
(Credit: AA Grapevine, June 2007, by C.J. of Bozrah, Connecticut)
Please spread the word to a sober friend! Find me on Substack… or Twitter… or Facebook… or Instagram… or YouTube. And introducing my web site, LOLsober.com.
Share this post