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A few days before Mother’s Day for the past few years, I have had a pretty pathetic first thought: “Ugh… how long till Father’s Day?”
I know. I know. I know. That’s pretty selfish and juvenile. But hey, I’m not going to lie on here. Plus, I have learned in sobriety that I am more responsible for my second thought than my first. And my second thought was much better. Which was, let’s make this an awesome Mother’s Day for my wife and my mom. I think I did okay after that.
We had a nice Mother’s Day for my wife. All three kids were home and, with only a small exception or two, they all put themselves behind their mom for a day. Or at least most of the day. We went to a beach in Connecticut and walked on a pretty sweet boardwalk, then got some baked goods from a bakery in the town. The weather was awesome. I thought the gifts we got for my wife—including a nice bundle of goodies from me—were all excellent.
I have found over the years that I have gotten better and better about putting others first, even if my first thought is all about me. As a sober friend of mine always says, I may not be much, but I’m all I ever think about. I’m getting comfortable with the concept that that may never change, and I just need to continue to make sure my brain immediately hustles toward having a better followup thought.
And for the most part, I was able to do that. And I gotta say, the longer I have been sober, the more I appreciate how much positive energy and fulfillment comes from seeing smiles on other peoples’ faces. I really felt that way on Sunday. At one point, my wife and three daughters sat outside at the bakery and I stayed inside because there were no more seats out front. So I sat by the window and made an absolute fool of myself by making ridiculous faces out the front window. My kids were dying laughing and my wife refused to turn around, and multiple passersby seemed either amused or perplexed by my idiocy. It was a win-win for all involved.
By the end of the day, I was very tired and went to bed at a decent time. I laid my head on the pillow that night and was glad that I had been able to devote the day to someone other than myself. Did I happen to check an online date calculator and find out that Father’s Day is only 35 days away? No comment!
This newsletter is a place of joy and laughter about the deadly serious business of sobriety. So, as I will often do, let me close with a joke:
A group of animals go into a bar but don’t know who will pay for the drinks.
“I’ve only got a cent,” says the skunk.
“I don’t have a buck,” says the doe.
“I’m broke,” says the horse.
“My pocket is empty,” says the kangaroo.
“That’s all right,” says the giraffe. “The highballs are on me!”
(Credit: AA Grapevine, September 2000, Tom W.)
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