If you want to subscribe to LOL Sober, hit the purple button below. I’m mostly publishing free pieces right now, but paid subscribers do have access to monthly premium pieces—such as THIS comedy special about my 10 favorite addiction/sobriety jokes!
I was at a business meeting recently for one of my favorite meetings, and I brought up a proposal to change the format. The meeting goes around the room in a circle, and it’s always been a small enough meeting that everybody gets a chance to share.
Well, the meeting has gotten bigger. We’ve gone from 10-15 people every week to 20-25 people, with no timer, so it has gotten close to the point where somebody might not get a chance to share and have no opportunity to raise their hand and say they really needed a turn to speak.
So my suggestion was to go around the room for the first 45 minutes, then go to a show of hands among people who haven’t gotten a chance. There were about 10 people at the business meeting, and the other nine all voted against the idea. Their point was that nobody had not gotten a chance to share, so why fix what isn’t broke? I laughed about it and said, “OK, well, I guess my proposal just ate a huge shit sandwich,” and we all chuckled at an epic business meeting defeat.
I wouldn’t have been able to laugh about that in the past, and if I had, it wouldn’t have been authentic. I guess I’ve grown up a bit?
I’ve shared about this before, but I have always taken meetings very seriously. They saved my life, and I think I’m super smart, so I end up coming to believe I know how meetings should go. I remember having 30 days sober and raising my hand about making changes to my home group. I never liked that they had a timer and also a rule about no swearing. So I brought it up at the business meeting, and had absolutely zero support.
I remember leaving that day with my tail between my legs. I definitely took it too personal. I hadn’t really learned at that point that group conscience is what is best for the group, and it is about the most democratic process you could ever get involved with.
In the 15 years since then, I have had a slew of ideas about how a meeting should run, and almost every one ended badly. I even had a suggestion of adding a strong statement outlining why cross talk was bad, and people voted it in. Then I felt bad about it, because I saw some people who came to the meeting and got wide eyes of concern when they listened to the chairperson read that strong statement. It sounded a little off-putting, to be honest.
I was really glad that when I lost that recent vote at a business meeting that I responded with a shoulder shrug. I think it showed my growth about being just another bozo on the bus when it comes to how meetings operate. Then again, I just said, “I lost a recent vote,” which makes it still sound like I was viewing it as me winning or losing. Oh well, baby steps toward improvement, right?
This newsletter is a place of joy and laughter about the deadly serious business of sobriety. So, as I will often do, let me close with a joke:
A MAN SAT IN FRONT of his home, contemplating his future. He had just gotten a divorce, lost his children, been fired from his job, and now faced eviction. He noticed a case of beer bottles in his trash and walked up to it.
He took out an empty bottle and smashed it, swearing, "You are why I don't have a wife!" He threw a second bottle: "You are why I don't have my children!" And a third: "You are why I lost my job!"
But then he discovered a fourth bottle, still sealed and full of beer. He took it, tucked it into his pocket, and said, "Stand aside, my friend--I know you were not involved."
(Credit: Grapevine, February 2008)
Please spread the word to a sober friend! Find me on Substack… or Twitter… or Facebook… or Instagram… or YouTube. And introducing my web site, LOLsober.com.
Minding my own business (meetings)