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A friend shared a really provocative quote to me the other day. He said he used to subscribe to the idea of doing the next right thing, and he still does. But he altered the quote a little bit, to “Do the next thing right.”
It really got me overanalyzing that phrase, which is essential to my recovery. I just need to always do the next right thing, and I need to have a good recovery program to know what the next right thing is. On my own, with only my voice in my head, sometimes the next right thing becomes what the next best thing for me will be.
But what about doing the next thing right? I was intrigued by that, because it’s certainly true. I’ve done the next right thing but not done it well, so I get the difference between those two quotes. And in those cases, I can often be a little righteous when things don’t work out well, because I can fall back on something being the right decision. But my friend’s quote made me think about how part 2 is actually doing it right.
I’ll give you one example. I’ve routinely had instances where I need to reprimand one of my kids for a bad behavior, and I’ve consulted with sober friends and they agreed with me. But then sometimes I would reprimand my kid from a much angrier head space than I would have wanted, or gotten into a big argument with a kid who lashes out when you take their car keys from them. That’s not really spiritual, even though the decision might have been the right one.
So I ended up thinking both of those thoughts—do the next right thing, and do the next thing right—because they both have their merits. And I ultimately landed on a melding of the two quotes. How about, “Do the next right thing right”?
This newsletter is a place of joy and laughter about the deadly serious business of sobriety. So, as I will often do, let me close with a joke:
A woman approached her sponsor and asked, “What do I do when I finish with the Steps?”
And the sponsor said, “Lie very, very still—because you’re dead.”
(Credit: AA Grapevine, Jan. 2000, “Ham on Wry,” by Jim G.)
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