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I heard a cool phrase today: What I do today is what I will be tomorrow.
My first reaction to seeing that quote was that it didn’t quite make sense. It sounded like mumbo jumbo nonsense masquerading as something profound.
But then it sank in what that means to me, which is, what I do today feeds what I will wake up as tomorrow. I’ll give you an example.
I had a work frustration a few days ago that started in the evening. It devoured my whole night. I did the thing where I was thinking, “I will say a, and if they say b, I’ll tell them c. And if they say that, holy shit, I am going to be so pissed, and then I’ll do d, e and f.” Needless to say, I got to z on all of the imaginary arguments I was about to have.
The next morning, I rolled out of bed agitated. I found myself a little jittery, even when I was running on the treadmill. The truth was, I spent a good chunk of the day agitated and getting ready for a fight. And, shocker, I woke up agitated and ready to rumble.
That sounds so obvious, doesn’t it? But think about yourself in your life. Are you like me, in that you have ideals for yourself and you kind of just hope they happen? Right now, I want to eat better, be serene and kind in all my affairs, and be of maximum service to others. But how many of those things are going to just happen? Am I going to fall asleep one night and the Eat Better Fairy has sprinkled No Donut dust all over my stomach? Will I be driving and a lightning bolt will just hit me with service opportunities? No way. And yet, I sometimes behave like that.
To go back to that phrase, I need to do actions today so that it feeds me better nutrients to be that tomorrow. In the case of my evening of resentment a few nights ago, did I go to a meeting? No. Did I meditate for 15 extra minutes? No. Did I do a quick fourth step to see what my role was? No. Did I pray about it and ask the universe for guidance? No. I could keep going, but the point is, I went to bed with a late-night snack of pissy-ness in my belly, and I woke up pretty pissy.
This is not anything revolutionary. The concept of good actions leading to better thoughts is a tentpole of recovery literature and the spirit of sobriety. I just thought that phrase was an interesting way to summarize it, and I hope you found it helpful, too. Now I gotta run… I am still waiting for the Donut Fairy to show up.
This newsletter is a place of joy and laughter about the deadly serious business of sobriety. So, as I will often do, let me close with a joke:
HEARD AT MEETINGS: The trouble with staying home alone and isolating is you get a lot of bad advice.
(Credit: AA Grapevine, December 2000, David F. from Manhattan, NY)
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